WWT

Hello, how have you been my dear ? Just a simple Hello and I don't think I can convey this to you. Stranger become the someone important in our life and that someone become a stranger again. The power of love does that. Just realize I have never been updating my blog, maybe that period of time me and you were in a very comfort stable relationship till we don't have any sparkle left.    

电话那一头的你，说也许我们该各退一步
电话这一边的我，眼泪悄悄流出却不想哭

这场爱情，是不是一开始就是错误
为了什么我们固执的坚持换来却只有痛苦

跌跌撞撞这一条爱情路，我们看到的只有荒芜
辛辛苦苦跟随你的脚步，等待我们的不是幸福

你的幸福都跟我无关
我该庆幸还是该背叛

一碰到雨天 爱就会打散

能不能別這樣放棄　能不能就放開自己
海浪穿透我的傷心　請聽一聽愛的聲音

Recently, few songs bring back the memories that belong to us. I know I have been the badass that do not deserve love but yet you my dear have been loving me for so much. The reason for breaking up is because I am afraid of can't keep the promise to commit with you anymore, and I know how hurtful it can be. I don't wish to hurt someone I love, this is why I left. Do remember always, ee ling loves you. I go, because I love you. If ever I can control time, I wish I can make things in a better way. Now I know the difference between like and love. 

Like comes with feeling, Love comes with sacrifices. Thanks a lot my dear, for your sacrifices and fought for me always. I will wait... ... 

Finally here come another argument, I thought that it won't happen again since it's almost 2 years anniversary.
What is love and what do you give in for your lover ?
I bet everyone will give the best of the best for your lover even you will think of the future of giving your partner a HOME and a FAMILY.
I just want to let my dear to know, if you do your best I bet you will give me a HOME a Family.
Because Love always is the strongest motivation in this world.
I LOVE you that's why I want you to be a stronger person, a successful person which I want to see you to be a SISTER a MANAGER or a boss. It will be so glad to see your partner to be a successful person.
I should have know that, there is one day you will have a volcano burst off about not pampering you.
Yan Wei is my history of life. Password wasn't mean I still love her.
It's just a numbers. Why must I erase away my history. It's my story of life.
You can't take it as in You don't love my life.
No future no planning no aim no objective.
There's no couple will love all these except playboy and womanizer.
It's only one day off, and yet I still wanna go home. HOME
How desperately i want to be with you, you can said its only one day off.
But I love you, thats why i don care either one day or one hour.
How well do you know me ?
If and only IF, perhaps there will not have any fight.
Letting go is the best because we both not suitable.
Stay is a choice, but fight doesn't end.

The day has come.

3 years. Fast or Slow ? A blink of eyes, here comes to another chapter of my life.
Time flies. It's time for a small little girl to be a strong lady out there to face all circumstances.
CHONG EE LING. Think positively, you still can come back HOME as long as you want.
You know you can do this. For the sake of God, You will be great. HE will always guide and lead you to the best. My objective is to earn money to take over the responsibility from my parents.

I believe, the God of the world is fair. When we got what we wanted, surely God will take away something.
The world is round, no matter how far we are, we will still back to the same point. My career is a registered nurse. CHONG EE LING Believe yourself, you can make a different. :)

Dearest families, wait me to be back with honor. Pain is temporary but the pride is forever. I will be good. You guys, Must always remember to take good care. 

为何人总是看人看得那么肤浅？

叫你离开就是不爱你？

不想和你吵架，

不想我们再受伤，

这是不爱你了吗？

我怀疑了，难得是我的大日子，你又为我想过吗？

伤害了我的心，一次又一次。

我，总有一天，会离开的。

你，总有一天，会留下的。

你说分手.

有多少爱可以重来，有多少人愿意等待？
说过的话不能后悔，爱情都是骗人的吗？
温柔的对待改掉了，若言是善意的谎言！
童话故事都是骗人，家庭永远胜任爱人！
期待你发现我的爱，我自然而然的关怀。
不被珍惜所有付出，分开是你回答的话。
错过机会不再会有，爱的转角遇见了谁？
是否不让我们流泪，幸福不再与我跟随。
我们每段痴情苦恋，只剩下怀恋的回忆。
静关上门默数的泪，只能够拥抱的背影。
我和你再也回不去从前的热情恋爱关系。

Unfairness is happening

Family.
A problem comes, as a family should settle it  together.
It's not about blaming, it's not about quarreling, it's not about saying a person fault.
FAMILY carries a lot of meaning, it's more than having the same blood with the same DNA.
Have you done your part? You are protecting your father and mother but did you settle problem?
No, you didn't my dear. You as the eldest in the family, you as a sister, you are very good in obedient to parents and protecting them very well. But did you settle your younger little sister's problem? As you keep pushing one whole mountain of invisible STRESS towards her without you knowing. You said your sister EQ low, don't you the same? Scolding people without looking at yourself ! HEY ! Wake up man ! Stop judging to anyone! Stop hurting! As a eldest brother, another young man caring about the family policy without settling the problem. Have you all find out why your little sister will run away ? You said STRESS is given by ourself ? How sure are you ? What kind of research show about it ? 


Stress

A word stress defined as body's reaction to a change that require a physical, mental or emotional adjustment or response. Stress is a situation for you to move on for an adjustment. It's due to pressure and tension by the "stress causing factors". FACTORS can't be ourselves. A human being is not defined as a situation ! So stop saying your lovely sister EQ low ! She is clever, that's why she move on for an adjustment. You guys as a FAMILY MEMBERS seriously disappointed to her. Can't you see, she is stress due to you guys ? She is stress because of you guys didn't settle the problem with her and blaming her. UNFAIR ! Except blood related, there's no meaning of a FAMILY you guys have sacrifice for her. You guys did nothing good.

LOVE.

It's an intense feeling of deep affection. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails. THIS IS LOVE. As family should consist all these. HAVE YOU ALL DONE THESE TO HER ? You guys do not proud of her, keep recording the wrongs, do not rejoice the truth (me), always easily angered and then BLAMING comes back. Please don't simply say LOVE if you're not doing all these. 




Respect.
A simple moral definition about this is -> A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities. Before people respect you, you must respect people. So that others will do the same to you. This is how world goes around comes around with the same culture even though it's 21century now. Before a judgement make, please look at yourself. As a 28 years old girl, send a message without informing who are you and straight goes into a anger with blaming scolding words. In a mature thought, it's a respectful to me? Should I pay you the respect? NO ! Because I don't deserve it at all ! A word FUCK OFF is simply bring a meaning go away ! It's not rude enough,if I wanted to be rude to you,I will rather to choose FUCK YOU IDIOT !



EMOTIONAL, INFLUENCE and MATURE.

Here is my opinion, I am not a wizard. I don't control people's emotion. She has a mind, she 22 years old working lady, she an adult, she knows what's her thinking. She knows her limit more than you or me. Besides that, if I influence her, this simply means that she agreed my pattern that's why she followed my way. A human being will not follow with a rational behind it. INFLUENCE people is not easy anyway. If it's easy, I could be the next Prime Minister. Mature thinking will think about future and consequence and to work out fully in the mind. This is what we called as mature. We cannot said people are immature just because we don't have the same mindset with you. And we don't judge people are immature just because being rude to you. Mature is a meaning of fully development of physical and the mind can be worked out fully. 


P/s : YOU 28 years old woman, do not knowing the situation straight came to me with fierce and anger judging me being rude and childish, how much you expect me to pay you back? And I sincerely hope you guys will read this message. Love is not a mistake. Try to accept who she is. World is not big, life brief's candle. Short life should goes with quality memories. Please be more consider. Stop hurting people around you, love you and acceptance is the most importance.

Lover VS Family. Results is LOSER.

You chose to pack your things and went off early in the morning.

But you can't come back for me early in the morning.

You said you need to accompany them for breakfast.

If and only if you remember, you promise me will left at 0700 in the morning.

If still remember, that day I also didn't take any breakfast.

I cried once you closed the door.

I wish you could open the door once again just for me.

But at last, disappointment for me. Hope too much for love?

Am i ? Just a little too over ? 

You said you're tired and fed up.

You wish to die.

I am just so nobody.

Thanks for your information.

A promise is meant to be broken ? 

Listen a promise but don't keep a promise ?

Lastly, heart is alone. Lastly, hurt is with me.

I am just a lover, forever will not be important as your family.

 

Fuck reunion

If you have a lover, how much attention you would give to him/her ?
Even they are not around you, would you always keep to text her/him or call them up to catch up ?
Disappointment, anger, sadness, upset, sour, broken.
Multiple emotions came in.
Because I care.

How much do you really care ?
With evidence of an hour reply one message, less than 30minutes called for a day, rejected your call just because parents around.
I cried because I care.
I leave because You don't care, it's show how stupidity am I.

You always said you give me the best, do you really do so ?
The best : not to accept call ? not to talk much in calling ? no time to text me ?
You said you hope I do.
Why always i have to do ?

If you don't care please let me go.
If you no confidence please let me go.
I am no important. That's what I really felt from you.
Heartbroken without heal. And you still keep punching.

another backstab

An angel lighten him/herself that's why angel can FLY.
There's only devil will do evil things behind GOD.

You as a nurse without a kind, passion heart and talk shit about people, who do you think you are ?

How great you can be as you always compare to people around you since you're not proud to be yourself ?

Faults, wrongs ?

It's nothing to do with you ! Nevertheless, please don't be a slutty bitch and backstabbing around.

Okay, I am wrong of doing this, but please think of it ! CI don't have the right of changing roaster so why at the end they still change and deploy us to other ward ? We're just student, can't just have a rest or holiday ?

Why must be so cruel ? You're not God for judging us and for my side, I got my opinion. Take you as a friend, but do you appreciate ? Thanks to Jesus, I found another bitch ! Let's be stranger :)

As a lover, seeing your partner bullied but what did you do ?

Saying that : You deserved that ! Who asked you to P****** ! 

Hey ! I told you my problem but what do I get ?

</3 You'll not know how i feel... ... You will not know... ... because till now you've not yet know me. 

Which way is right and which way is wrong ?
Just because You created order is a man and a woman
that's why we're wrong ?
As long as we're the creatures of yours, ain't You feel satisfy ?
We never did anything which is immoral and why can't You allow us to be together ?
WHY ? Everything is in Your hand, Lord. You shall see our future and You've the responsible to guiding your creatures (children).

Accept me, Lord ! Be with me still and holy spirit enlighten my way.
To show my future path and protect my love and I.

Dear my love,

Thanks for everything, seeing you losing too much just to be with me, unhappily crying. I've nothing to do for you. Almost one year we've been together. Thanks a lot for all the while of your love, care and responsible. I shall not cause you lose your family and I shall leave. I'm sorry. But there's no other way. I wish there's a world end at 21.12.12. So that, we can end all of this together.

The reason.

A side of me that you don't know. And I wish you could know.
There's many things I wish I didn't do. I never meant to do the things to you.
So I wish you could know. That I just want you to know.
I've found a reason for me, to change that I used to be.
A reason to start over new and the reason is You.


I am sorry that I hurt you.
I wish I could take it all away.
I am not a perfect person and I continue learning to love you.
That's why I need you to hear.


A reason for all that I do.
And the reason is You.

A fight with thousand of NO's

The love that you shown out without any selfishness and secretive to your mom. I need this.
What's the love from you to me ? You compared between me and you. Selective listener of your own chosen words from the sentence I've told. I am jealous, but you can't see. I am hurt and you don't know. Family outing always making you happy even you don't want to go at the very first point. And that's the thing I care about ! You don't know. I won't say. That's my way of living. You don't understand me that's why argument and quarrel appeared in our life. Sorry for not wiping away your tears anymore, sorry for not hugging you anymore. I'm sorry for all. Crying and hurting can't make me wiping or hugging. No one know.

P/s argument and quarrel will just continue happening if nothing have been taken action.

很辛苦，心很不舒服，很酸...你懂吗？
等你，一直等待，我哭着...你懂吗？
我不重要了，你没像以前那样对我了...
没一直的打电话，也不会关心我没和你联络...
哈哈，我真的很想大声骂 WTF ！！！
The one should call me but never shown up... but end up is He calling me and asked for a date !
HEY ! I am a girl ! I have feeling ! Why can't treat me softly ? Why never think of I am that type of girl can cry till never stop ? And I can't bear with this feeling till I need to type all out to release it. One whole day, never seen me at all... I feel like wanna just disappear myself and you will not able to see me anymore. I hate this. I hate being neglected, I hate.

Jesus, YOU ARE MY KING.

Hallelujah ! Lord, once again you touched my heart !
Praise The Lord ! Once again you reminded me !
You're my heavenly Father. You're my king.
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken.
I'm accepted, you were condemned.
The amazing love brought me here to this world.
The amazing love keep me alive and believing.
Because You died and rose again !
I know it's true. Jesus !
It's my joy to honor You.
In all I do, I honor You.

:'(

你真的很过分，说话可以那么伤人
说话前可以想想我吗？
可以懂我多一点吗？
懂我很难吗？
为什么每次你都只会问＂那我呢＂？
可以先解决问题才来说你自己吗？我都不曾提起过＂那我呢＂！
可以别把事情想的那么负面吗？站在我立场想好不好？
可以不要误解我的意思吗？对我有信心好不好？我需要被你了解！
我要的很简单..我真的伤了..真的很伤。之前我都没说过我伤呢...

Not a dream, You are.

Lots of words I keep in my heart, always thought you will understand me even I am silent.
Lots of feelings I show in my ways, always thought you will know me very well.
Lots of thoughts I never told you, always thought you will get me even I am quiet.
But, all these just too much of expectations and get to disappointments.
Not to blame one of us but I am just too much.
Should get into your way -> simple and easy that's enough for both loving couple.

CHONG EE LING is a kind of girl needs a lot of secure and protective person.
That's why she always hide in the blanket or keep hugging the bolster.
She likes to being understand and being loved.
That's why hers expectations always involved.
She likes to stay around with loved ones.
Not because of lonely and she doesn't scare of being alone. But she likes to be with you.
She likes to eat delicious yummy food not even care about the price but she cares about do you have the same taste with her.
She likes to being care and care for the loved ones. 
If being rejected, disappointment will come in to her minds.
She likes to think a lot of matters. 
Not because of sensitive but it's about emotional.
She loves you and you should know this.

The answer you wanted to know : If you walk away, if ever you walk away that door... I promise that you will never see me when you return back.
Not that I doesn't want to hold you tight, but you're prepare to leave, aren't you ?? 
You've brushed your teeth, washed your face, changed to a nice outing clothes, comb your hair and at last you packed your little bags. Do not tell me, you aren't prepare. I see you and I feel you. I am crying at that moment, who knows right ? Because I seem hard-hearted. But I always wish you will know me, know what I'm thinking... ...I always thinking about you, me -> US. What we gonna be... I visited your families and I wish they accepted but... I still wish and hope. I do not have confidence, I need you. Can't you see ?

P/s I am not blaming you sweetheart. I just want to let you know I always thinking about you, me and us. I need you to get me all the times, I need lots of protection and you should know. Lastly, YOU should never compare with my ex. I always treat you who you are. I never take you nor compare with the previous one. 117days for ex. We are more than that, aren't we ? All the love being showed, all the feelings being told... seriously, you shouldn't keep it while argument occur. Think back, how sweet we are, how happily we are, how blissful we being through. 

Hey, I'm so thankful for having you in my life.
No one else loves me like you do
No one else sees me like you do
No one else knows me like you do
You're such a wonderful for me.

I viewed your previous pictures, and I saw you're holding someone's hand *grabbing*
A sudden sour pop up in my heart again. Once again jealousy, Once again disappointment that somebody wasn't me.

Hey, can I be the only one you will grab ?
Can I be your only one ?
Can I not to be alone like "EVA" ?
Be with me.

每一次的吵架，每一次都是怎样的结局？
我不曾说过要放手或要结束
只有你有那个想法
你累了吗？大概是累了吧。

都是因为我，你的生活没自由没色彩
如果你接受的是LAWLEE不是我，现在你大概是幸福的生活
如果我变成回忆，让他陪你。。。

你说：“你是骗子，你以前不是这样的“
哈哈，你句话是多么的伤人啊
哈哈，我的心是多么的疼啊
哈哈，你是多么的不懂我啊
张依玲喜欢被人疼
会发脾气，但是希望有人哄
你不懂吗？
我的喜欢，我的爱，我讨厌的，
你一点都不懂吗？
我骗了你什么？我现在是怎样的样子？

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 


多久没见的朋友，多久没回家
哈哈，你都拿来跟我作比较了是吗？
我的地位永远都是要和你的朋友们，家人们作比较才懂得的排名。
这个月，我排名第一位因为你没能出去见朋友，没能回家。
哈哈，原来啊。。。我是多么没人懂啊~ 

为什么总让你自己受伤

为什么总说你自己没用

你说给不了我安全感

为什么不努力到你做到为止？

你说总让我等待

为什么没让不再等待？

你说给不了我喜欢的东西

为什么不努力？

还记得第一次被你吻着

是多么让我相信你就是

还记得第一次被你抱着

是多么让我相信你就是

还记得第一次被你牵着

是多么让我相信你就是

那个爱我的人。

20120223

你说要把误会说清楚

我说不出口，心好疼

你打我，推我，咬我

提醒了我还活着。

亲爱的，我又多么的爱你

你看不见么？

你感觉不到吗？

你不懂我吗？

我爱你、没有什么目的，只是爱你!
一辈子、就做一次自己!
这一次、我想给你全世界!
这一次、遍体鳞伤也没关系!
这一次、用尽所有的勇敢!
这一次、可以什么都不在乎!
但只是这一次就够了!
因为生命再也承受不起这么重的爱情。
这一次、我愿意为你丢弃自尊、放下矜持、不管值不值得、不管爱得多卑微。

抱歉

爱是不需努力 爱是自然而然 对不起，让你那么辛苦 对不起，让你那么努力 对不起，让你哭了... 我的介意似乎太过分了 我的敏感似乎太过分了 我的一切似乎太没用了 这么努力的你若有天你累了 我该怎么办？？